The first ultrasound

I was wrong…those 9 days waiting for Beta were NOTHING compared to the two weeks waiting for an ultrasound! I tried to stay distracted and not think about it, but when you are, hopefully, carrying someone else’s child, it’s all you can think about.

I was mostly nervous because I wasn’t having a lot of common early pregnancy symptoms. I was exhausted, but I work 12 hour graveyard shifts, so I’m always tired. I have have little to no morning sickness, I really only feel nauseated if I overeat, I have had no breast tenderness, no spotting, no nothing…just exhaustion.

I actually started getting really nervous about a week before my ultrasound was scheduled. I didn’t think anything was wrong because I hadn’t had any cramping or bleeding, but I was worried that I hadn’t had any morning sickness because I had with all my other pregnancies. I don’t know if it was because of my crazy schedule or maybe I was just going to be lucky this time, or maybe, worst case scenario, there was no baby. Chemical Pregnancy is a real concern. I had a chemical pregnancy of my own, and another surrogate had recently had one. It was definitely at the back of my mind. I just kept counting down the days and telling myself “in (blank) days, you’ll know for sure.”  I kept focusing on not wanting to break my IM’s heart. She is absolutely amazing and I really want her to be able to have this baby!

Tuesday, November 22, finally rolled around. My IM had asked about trying to Skype during my appointment and I was worried. I was worried that if something was wrong she would need to hear from our nurse, not from me, not from my husband, and not from the ultrasound tech. I think I didn’t want to do it for me as well. I was a little selfish because I didn’t want to hear or see her heart breaking, but I downloaded the app on my phone anyway, and we went on our way to CCRM.

My husby went with my for support, especially because I was so nervous. We got into the room and asked the tech about Skype or video taping the ultrasound. CCRM doesn’t allow you to video record, which I found a little strange, but she said we could Skype after we checked things out first, just to be safe. I thought she was a genius!

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Measuring 6 weeks, 5 days, 7mm long

My heart felt like it was beating a million miles a minute as she started the ultrasound. I almost held my breath as she started moving the wand around looking for a gestational sac and finally, she found one! I took a HUGE sigh of relief and was so overjoyed for my IM!! She is going to be a mommy! There is one, healthy, happy, perfect, little baby growing inside me. The ultrasound tech did a few measurements, baby was measuring 6w5d, 1 day ahead of schedule, and the heart rate was 119, they want to see something over 100.

We did get to Skype with my IM and my husby held the phone up close to the monitor so she could see the heart flickering. It’s too early to hear anything yet, but she could see it, and all she kept saying was, “whoa.” We shared our congratulations and went to get blood20161122_144612 work and meet with our nurse. She said everything looked perfect as well and as long as labs came back normal, which they did, we would keep all med protocols the same and be back in two weeks on December 6. I was so relieved and beyond excited! (Although I was a little sad it wasn’t twins again…maybe next journey.)

I took the ultrasound pictures to work to show off. I had told all my fellow dispatchers, and a select few officers, but I was so excited to share with everyone. I had gone to briefing Sunday night and my Sergeant teased me about having nothing to contribute and I had told him I would have something soon, because I was hoping I would have good news to share. When it came to my turn at briefing I was excited to announce I had something important, but not work related to share, and my Sergeant was intrigued. It happened to be a rather full briefing as we had the swings sergeant, an officer from the power shift and a rider in the room in addition to my usual team, but I wanted to share anyway. I held up the ultrasound picture and let everyone absorb it for a second and then announced “yes, I am pregnant and it’s not my husband’s.” They all kind of laughed uncomfortably and then just looked at me. One of the officers who knew what was going on said I probably shouldn’t lead with that because it makes me sound like a …you know. Anyway, I laughed about it and explained I was a surrogate for the second time and the twins had just turned one. They were all super supportive and the swings sergeant said, “Man. It’s one thing to make someone’s banana bread, but this…good for you.” It made my night.

Today, I am 7 weeks pregnant with one happy little baby. I had a fantastic Thanksgiving and my birthday is next week. I have much to celebrate this holiday season, as does my IM.

 

The longest 9 days

Patience is a virtue….right? Unless you’re waiting the LONG 9 days between transfer and a blood test to find out if the transfer took and you are pregnant, then it’s Mount Everest and you’re standing at the bottom with two broken legs. There is a LOT of waiting in surrogacy, it’s kind of a theme.

I knew I wanted to take a home pregnancy test (hpt) because I am NOT a patient person. I asked my IM if she wanted to know and she said no, and then to let her think about it and she would let me know… she never let me know, so I assumed she didn’t want to know.

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I took 4 pregnancy tests! (Impatient, I told you!) I started Monday, 5 days after transfer. I knew it was early, but I did it anyway because I was curious and I had been so exhausted. It was positive, a very faint positive, but nonetheless positive! We call it a “squinter.” I was ecstatic! I wanted to tell my IM so so so badly, but I resisted and tried to respect her wishes. It was difficult! I am not good with secrets.

I waited 2 days to retest and again got a very faint positive. I was, honestly, a little disappointed. I was hoping the results would be a little more obvious like they were in my first journey, but I had to remind myself that I had two babies in there the first time, and that EVERY JOURNEY IS DIFFERENT!

I think we forget that very important fact as surrogates. We forget that each of our own pregnancies were different. We forget that these are IVF babies and our bodies had to be prepared with a magic concoction of hormones provided by the fertility clinics. We forget how much time and effort goes into making us the best little baby growing machines out there. We forge

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t that in normal life most of us wouldn’t have a clue we were pregnant yet. We get so excited for ourselves to be pregnant again and for our IPs to become parents. Mostly, it’s just hard to have no control.

I was discouraged and impatient, but it was there, I was pregnant, according to my pee on a stick. I had used up the box (only bought a two pack because I was in complete denial of my impatience). I thought I would be able to wait 2 more days until Beta with no problems, but I was WRONG!

The next day my husby and I were driving around and I decided I wanted more pregnancy tests. Some of the other surrogates had mentioned pink dye tests showing up a little darker and I wanted to test that idea! We went to the dollar store and I bought

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two more tests. (I mean they were only a dollar!)

I retested again on Thursday, twice, and still got faint positives. I decided that was enough and I would wait one more day until Beta. It was still so difficult not to tell my IM!

Friday morning I went in around 8:30. My IM had texted that she was with me in spirit and I know she was more nervous than me because she didn’t know about the pregnancy tests! We didn’t have to wait long for results and before noon we knew we were pregnant with a Beta of 120.3! My IM was so thrilled, as was I. The nurse let me know my hormone levels, as well, and asked me to come in on Sunday for my second beta to make sure my hcg levels were rising. I get to increase my PIO to one full unit and my suppositories to 3x a day. I Am obviously thrilled about those. I confessed my impatience to my IM and she confessed her mom had been stalking my blog for hints, we

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agreed to chat again on Sunday after results.

Sunday morning I again went in around 8:30 and had another blood draw. We again got the results quickly. They were hoping for a rise of at least 53%, my second beta was 279.5 which is 132% increase! I got to call and tell my IM the good news! She was, again, thrilled and told me congratulations and I told her congratulations back!

We received the official pregnancy letter from CCRM with an expected due date of July 14, my youngest daughter’s birthday, and the next steps. I will have my first ultrasound November 22 at 6.5 weeks pregnant  and another December 6 at 8.5 weeks pregnant.

Now we wait for my pregnancy symptoms to get worse, or better depending on how you look at it. I’ve definitely been exhausted lately, but I work graveyards so I’m always tired. I also have morning sickness, increased sense of smell, breast tenderness, and more exhaustion to look forward to, but I can honestly say I am looking forward to every single one of those symptoms.