Puking and peeing and crying, OH MY…

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Morning sickness is a ridiculous name for it. It does not occur only in the morning. In fact, sometimes it occurs every time except the morning. Really it should be called “anytime, anywhere, it will find you sickness.” There is no rhyme or reason to it. Sometimes it hits you when you’re hungry, sometimes when you’ve had too much to eat. Sometimes it’s a smell that will send you over the edge. Sometimes it is because you’ve eaten something that didn’t sound too appetizing but you were just so hungry, and sometimes it is because you’ve eaten something you’ve been craving and it was the most delicious thing you’ve ever tasted.

I have been battling morning sickness for the past few weeks. I’ve been struggling to keep much down besides cheese and crackers. Some days I feel so defeated because I haven’t kept anything down all day but I’m so hungry (because I haven’t kept anything down all day!) I know if I don’t eat I will get too hungry which will make me gag and throw up nothing, however I know if I eat I’m just going to actually throw up. My tastes change daily so there is really no way to know what is a safe bet, but it’s kind of fun to experiment and try different combinations of food throughout the day.

In all honesty, the puking isn’t horrible. I try to drink TONS of water so it’s not quite so painful if I do wind up bent over the toilet and I usually get a little bit of relief after ralphing, albeit temporarily. The other side effect, that I would gladly pass up, that comes along with the consistent vomiting is the lack of bladder control. When I’m bent over puking, my body tenses so much each time I wretch that I pee. It’s like being kicked when you’re down.

It doesn’t happen every time I puke, but when it does…oh boy. So then, I’m puking, and peeing, and then I start crying because….because….hormones, dammit. Because sometimes you just want to throw your hands up and say “seriously?” But really, by the end of the whole fiasco, I’m usually laughing because really what is more funny than seeing a pregnant woman puke and pee herself at the same time and then start crying? Exactly.

I’m usually laughing because one, or both, of my girls will come in and watch and ask me what’s wrong. My youngest will ask, “mommy, why are you throwing up and why did you pee your pants?” Sometimes I respond, “well baby, mommy was bored and just wanted to add a little excitement to her day!” Other times I’ll say, “mommy was trying to give herself a reason to do some laundry.” What else are you supposed to say to a three year old? I’m 9w6d. 14 weeks is second trimester and I’m hoping for some relief.

Don’t get me wrong, I am NOT complaining. Even after all of this, I would absolutely go through it all again to help my IPs grow their family. Getting to see the joy and excitement on their faces at each ultrasound makes everything worth it.

And if you can’t laugh at yourself when you’ve peed your pants, you aren’t really living!

Bed Rest

The past two weeks have been a blur.

Since the first ultrasound, I was feeling much better, at least emotionally. It was comforting to see the babies doing well and see their little tiny hearts beating.

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7 weeks, 2 days

I had another ultrasound on April 3. I went alone as my IPs had an appointment with another doctor because my IM had her second chemo treatment. I hadn’t had any further bleeding but I was still exhausted and having daily battles with morning sickness. The ultrasound went fantastic. Both babies looked amazing and were both growing right on schedule with one measuring exactly 7w2d and the other a day ahead at 7w3d. My bleed looked about the same, but all that matters is that the babies were doing fabulous!

The next day, Saturday, I had to leave work early as I was starting to have cramps again and they got to the point where is was too painful to work so I called in some help and went home to rest. I got to rest all day Sunday and most of Monday before going in to work Monday afternoon for a closing shift. It had been very busy before I got there so there was a quite a lot of work for me to do which was great because I thought it would keep me distracted and help the time go by quickly.

I did stay very busy, but shortly after 7pm, I started bleeding again. I was again having mild cramps but the bleeding was nearly as bad as the previous time so I just made it through the night and went home to relax and study for a calc test I had the following morning.

I made it to campus and emailed my nurse to let her know about the bleeding because I figured I wouldn’t hear back until after my exam anyway. I made it through the test, but was in a bit of pain so I went home to lay down and wait for the nurse to call. She called around 2pm and we discussed everything going on and my concern that being on my feet for 8+ hours each day for work with no sitting was complicating my bleed. I even made a joke about being ready for them to take me off suppositories whenever they would like! She called me back a little while later, after a discussion with the doctor,  and told me to be careful what I wished for as they were taking me off suppositories and instead increasing my butt shots to every night with double the dosage. They also decided to restrict me to light duty at work which meant taking it extremely easy and working no longer than 4 hours each shift. I am a store manager, so taking it easy is really difficult at my job. We work single coverage 90% of the time with no sitting and constant walking/standing. I stay very busy. My staff has been amazing and so supportive about everything going on and I am so thankful they have all stepped up to help me.

By Wednesday morning, the bleeding had stopped and I took the day off as I was waiting to get doctor’s notes and work release forms to my work before they would let me return to work at all. Thursday I didn’t go to class and only worked a 4 hour closing shift at work but again it was so busy and there was so much to do that I didn’t get a chance to sit or relax. I felt ok and there was no further bleeding so I was relieved and hopeful that I would be able to work on restricted duty until the bleed heals.

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8 weeks, 2 days

Friday, April 10, we had another ultrasound and a meeting with the Nurse Practitioner as I will be switching to my own OB in just a few weeks. My IPs and my husband all got to be there for the ultrasound. The babies still looked perfect with one measuring exact at 8w2d and the other still a day ahead at 8w3d, and both had really strong heart beats. We even got to see one of the babies wiggling around already!

All my tests came back normal, my hormones looked great after switching my meds around, my urine test came back normal, and both babies were doing great! My bleed, however, was still about the same size. It did appear to be thinning out on one side so the NP decided to put me on full and restrictive bed rest for the next 4 days when I will return for another ultrasound on Tuesday, April 14.

I am currently in my second full day of bed rest and I can’t even begin to tell you how bored I am. I absolutely want to do everything in my power to keep these babies cooking as long as possible, but there is only so much lying around you can do before getting bored. I have been doing everything possible to avoid doing homework which includes lots of video games and movies, but I am ready to be healed and back to normal. I have only 4 short weeks of school left and considering I have missed the past two weeks, I would like to return in order to maintain my grades through finals. However, that being said, these babies are my number one priority and I will do anything and everything my nurses and doctors are telling me. These classes will be there next spring when I return to school!

So, as far as typical pregnancy symptoms go, I still vomit almost daily because apparently even the foods that sound delicious will come back up with no rhyme or reason to any of it, and it’s times two with twins. I have been craving fruits and smoothies a lot. So, if you’re coming for a visit, you better have some sort of delicious fruit smoothie in hand (I like them with strawberries, bananas, and watermelon). I can’t eat anything related to junk food. No sweets, no chips, no taco bell. I can’t say I miss junk food (although I was a HUGE fan of chocolate before becoming pregnant) but not being able to eat any junk food does make it very hard for me to find anything that will stay down besides crackers with cheese or peanut butter. I’m really hoping my food aversions level out so I can return to eating like an adult in my second trimester.